Rebirth in progress

These readings are timeless. Trust what resonates and allow yourself to let go of what doesn’t.

We need to talk about this resistance you’re feeling towards your current transition. It’s funny because you want this rebirth. You know that something isn’t working, or something is coming to an end, or NEEDS to be finished, even if the final nail hasn’t been placed in the coffin just yet… It’s undeniable that you want something to change.

You are ready for this chapter to close, but you’re also clinging onto it, because you’re so scared of what’s next.

The underlying fear

But when you sit down and really think about it, the fear you have is about losing the identity associated with this closing chapter. Even though it doesn’t actually mean that much to you anymore, you know that you no longer identify with the person you were when it was thriving, you’re still scared to let it go. To let that version of you go. Not because you don’t want what’s coming, but because you’re scared of the way it’s going to feel to be detached, the way it’s going to feel to be a ‘blank canvas’.

Do you hear that? Do you feel that? Can you see that your fear isn’t about who you’re becoming? It’s about the process that it takes to get there? You’re scared of the void. The unknown journey ahead. The space that has to be created in order to allow something new to manifest. The darkness, the instability, that’s what you’re scared of.

You’re surprised at who you’re becoming

Wheel of Fortune is telling me that everything is still to play for. By that, I mean, if you think it’s too late to close this chapter and start a new story, you’re wrong. It’s never too late for you to start again. Not only that, but you don’t even need to have a clear idea of where you’re going. You just need to know that you are actively choosing not to stay here.

You’re being asked to choose to leave outdated energy, to release this self-image that no longer fits the way your soul is expanding.

I’m seeing you wearing new clothes, experimenting with different styles, honouring a part of you that never fully bloomed, or that you didn’t think would work for you. You’re surprised at who you’re becoming. Take joy in that. Life is becoming experimental for you; you’re learning that you set the tone, you bring the vibes, and so, when you’re in stagnant energy, you choose to clear that shit out.

You are choosing to continually reset your energy. It’s not a one and done thing, you’re constantly reminding yourself — I set the tone, I set the vibe, my energy is my power.

Close this chapter

One thing that might help you to find the courage to let go of this chapter of your life that you need to close in order to facilitate this rebirth is to look at the ways you’ve self-silenced as a form of protection. How have other people’s perceptions of you taken hold go your self-perception? When you’re hard on yourself, then you say you’re not good enough – how does this narrative soothe your fears about expanding into your biggest self?

It’s quite possible that you tell yourself that you’re not good enough as a way to ‘let yourself off the hook’ in a sense. A way to avoid taking any risks, a way to avoid caring about anything, a way to avoid rejection, abandonment, humiliation… all valid fears, but what if you believed in your strength and ability to bounce back from certain emotional experiences and emerge bigger and bolder as a result? What if your warrior self just hasn’t been allowed to surface yet? What if you haven’t met her because you’ve never invited her out to play? What direction might she steer your life in?

Grieve for the past

The Magician is reminding you that you are both the art and the artist. You make life with your own unique combination of ingredients, and you have everything you need within you to build something special. Communication is central to this journey of rebirth, but it’s all about communication with yourself. It’s about letting go of not just that old self, but the stories woven into the fabric of that identity, many of which were stitched in my other people, external systems…

And let’s get to the hardest part of this. When you do close that chapter, there will be people who no longer understand the new you. There will be grief and loss around that. But losing them is still better than losing yourself. You’ve done that too much already; don’t give any more of yourself away. It’s time to start making magic in your new life, to quietly choose yourself over and over, to assert your needs, and use your voice. Write this new chapter.

Love you,

Fiona

x

Cards pulled: The Magician, 10 of Swords, Wheel of Fortune, The Empress

Tarot deck used: Queer Tarot by Ash & Jess